Beyond the Grind: Redefine your North Star
Life isn't about the amount of money you make, but the moments you live.
Beyond the Grind: Why Life is Measured in Moments, Not Milestones
We are taught from a very young age how to build a life, but we are rarely taught how to live one.
From the moment we enter the school system, the roadmap is laid out with surgical precision: study hard, get the degree, land the prestigious job, climb the corporate ladder, and increase your net worth. We are conditioned to believe that happiness is a destination located somewhere just past the next promotion or the next significant pay raise.
There is so much more to life than the numbers in your bank account and the title on your business card.
A few years ago, I went through a break-up which cost me 7 years of my life. I thought I had life figured out. I was making money, had what I thought at the time a partner i could rely on, and was living pretty comfortably. Until then, I never really thought of happiness. Since then, all I’ve focused on is my happiness as a person. Not my career, not more posessions, but really trying to find core building blocks of what makes me, me and what makes me happy.
The Illusion of “Arrival”
Many of us are living in a state of constant anticipation. We tell ourselves, “I’ll relax once I hit this salary bracket,” or “I’ll travel once I have more stability.”
This is what psychologists call the “Arrival Fallacy”. The mistaken belief that once we reach a certain goal, we will reach a state of lasting happiness. The problem is that the goalposts always move. There is always a bigger project, a higher target, and a more demanding deadline. If your entire sense of worth is tied to your career, you are essentially running on a treadmill: moving fast, sweating, and working hard, but staying in exactly the same place emotionally.
The Ultimate Currency: Freedom
If we want to redefine success, we have to change our definition of wealth.
Real wealth isn’t just about how much money you have; it’s about autonomy. It’s the freedom to choose how you spend your Tuesday morning. It’s the ability to say “no” to a project that drains your soul and “yes” to a spontaneous road trip with a friend.
True prosperity is the ability to own your time. When you have the freedom to pursue your interests, to work on your own terms, and to step away from the screen when the sun is shining, you are richer than many billionaires who are slaves to their own schedules.
After learning this, I realised how important time was as a currency. I had to break the mould, find a way to somehow do the things I wanted to do, and be comfortable. When I’m travelling around the world, I often get complimented for how care-free I am, because I can appreciate where I’m currently at this moment in time. I have the freedom to do what I want, when I want. I have the ability to take a spontaneous trip, and on the same day book a flight and accomodation and leave.
Collecting Memories, Not Just Assets
Think back to your happiest moments. Were you staring at a spreadsheet? Were you celebrating a quarterly KPI?
Unlikely.
You were probably laughing until your stomach hurt with old friends. You were standing on top of a mountain, feeling the wind on your face. You were tasting incredible food in a city where you didn’t speak the language. You were deeply immersed in a hobby that made time stand still.
Life is a collection of experiences. At the end of the road, no one looks back and wishes they had spent more hours in a windowless office. We look back at the people we loved, the places we went, and the ways we felt alive. Experiences are the only things we “buy” that actually make us richer.
The Importance of Play and Connection
We have become a society that treats “fun” as a reward for hard work, rather than a fundamental necessity of being human. We treat leisure as something to be “earned,” often feeling guilty when we aren’t being “productive.”
But play is where creativity lives. Connection is where meaning lives.
Human beings are social creatures. Our lives are defined by the depth of our relationships—the late-night conversations, the shared meals, the quiet moments of support, and the collective joy of being known by others. A career can provide you with a paycheck, but it cannot provide you with a sense of belonging.
Redefining Your North Star
This isn’t a call to quit your job tomorrow and move into a van (unless, of course, that’s what you actually want to do). It is a call to rebalance your priorities.
Don’t let your career become your entire identity. Let it be a tool. A way to fund the life you actually want to lead.
Start prioritizing the things that don’t have a ROI (Return on Investment) in a financial sense, but have an infinite ROI in a soulful sense:
- Choose adventure over comfort.
- Choose connection over competition.
- Choose presence over productivity.
The clock is ticking regardless of whether you are working or playing. You might as well make sure you’re doing something that makes you feel alive.